It’s true we’re in a lull this time of year. The joys of the holidays also bring a few devils with them: assorted debts, punching that extra hole in your belt with the corkscrew so you don’t lose the sensation in your feet, ex-wives, egg nog spoiling in the cocktail fridge.
No matter the season, though, it’s crucial to remind your sales team what it means to be
salesmen salespeople. No offense to the ladies out there: My ex-wife outsold me for 2 years straight in the real estate business. All I got was a set of steak knives and some whopper monthly payments to pony up. But I’m “digressing”, as the college boys often say.
Take this month’s sales totals for instance: Jimmy Chrystler, who’s been an outstanding player in the sales game, has been having a tough month since Santa made his merry way to the Northwest. It wasn’t just the low totals on his section of the dry-erase board – or even the crudely drawn nude monkey next to his name (that someone had rewritten in pink cursive). I guess I started to worry about old Jimmy when I tripped over a empty pint bottle of peppermint schnapps while walking by his desk one morning. Not judging. We’ve all been there.
After last week’s outstanding motivational speech by former Eastern Washington University head coach Trent Forgeman, I took Jimmy aside and gently asked him “what the fuck was the matter?”.
Now I know in this day and age we’re all supposed to be listeners, but I just grinned and nodded as he gave me his little tale of despair. Chewing on a kalamata pit and sizing up Jimmy’s story, I started to get the picture.
He and Francine had probably gone splitzky, but he didn’t want the office to know. Those jackals could really get the edge with a juicy bit of gossip on a guy like Jimmy, and he’s a key player – even if he’s down right now.
After he finished, I took him down to Frankydoodle’s Grill for a few scotches and some old-school wisdom. He started to cheer up when he realized that life is, indeed, nothing but a bunch of nonsense and you have to keep laughing if you want people to cheerfully spend their hard-earned money. I finished off our chat with my favorite joke about the spanish monk, the 3 cowgirls, and the saguaro cactus. Cracks ’em up every time.
I also secretly paid the waitress $50 to let Jimmy give her his number and pretend to be interested.
Some people get motivated by the intellectual approach, and some are a bit more…fundamental about things.
Well, so far this week, Jimmy’s climbing back up in sales and our resident smartass erased the monkey d**@ next to his name. That waitress even called old Jimmy the next day. Life is good. Life is sales.